Where Belief Begins
Recently, my seven-year-old daughter told me she couldn’t be a teacher anymore. It has always been her dream job, but someone in her class told her she wasn’t good at maths. She got some answers wrong, everyone laughed, and now she thinks she’s not good enough.
Hearing her rule herself out so quickly made me realise that children, like adults, place far too many limits on themselves before they’ve even had the chance to discover what they’re capable of. I realised just how early confidence begins to shape the aspirations we allow ourselves to have.
I know this because I went to one of the lowest-performing schools in my city, where fewer than 20% of students went on to higher education. For many, university simply wasn’t seen as a viable option, and I don’t believe most students were even encouraged to consider it, especially as compulsory education then ended at 16.
The Power of Encouragement
But I was lucky, and although I lacked confidence in my own abilities when I started college, my parents always encouraged me to keep my options open. They helped build my self-esteem, nurtured my curiosity, and exposed me to learning beyond the classroom.
Confidence Comes Before Aspiration
I told my daughter that if you’re interested in something, it’s important to give it a try, learn, practise, and keep going, but this is sometimes difficult advice to follow, even for me. I am learning that if we repeatedly talk negatively about ourselves and tell ourselves we’re not good enough, we eventually start believing it. That belief then influences our confidence and negatively affects our decisions. Confidence comes before aspiration, and aspiration leads to action. People rarely aspire to something, or take steps towards it, before they believe they can achieve it.
My daughter’s doubts came from one brief experience. For many children, those doubts are reinforced over years by low expectations, limited opportunities and a lack of encouragement. They begin ruling themselves out long before they’ve had the chance to explore what they are capable of.
When Opportunity Feels Out of Reach
Unfortunately, far too many children from lower socio-economic communities in the UK end up not having meaningful choices when it comes to further education. Significantly fewer children go to university than in affluent areas, and this is not because they lack skills or intelligence. It is often because they haven’t been encouraged to think it is within their reach. They simply haven’t built the confidence to believe it is a realistic option.
When expectations and hope are low, confidence and aspiration get squashed long before anyone has the chance to explore. That’s why widening participation matters and why we need to encourage children from a young age to believe in themselves and their potential. Every young person should have a choice when it comes to their education and their future.
Keeping Higher Education Within Reach
Of course, tuition fees are high and can create a barrier before a person’s even applied, but many universities do offer bursaries, scholarships and financial support. There are also widening participation initiatives, outreach programmes and access schemes. These don’t remove every obstacle, but they do mean higher education doesn’t have to be automatically ruled out without first exploring options.
Why University Still Matters
There is the ongoing debate about whether university is worth it and still good value for money. Tuition fees and student debt can seem daunting, and many families understandably question the return on investment. University isn’t the right choice for everyone, and apprenticeships and vocational routes do offer excellent alternatives. But it should still be available as an option.
For many, university can provide more than a qualification. It develops a person’s independence, resilience and confidence. It introduces you to new ideas, different perspectives, and equips you with the ability to analyse and evaluate the world around you. University opens doors to opportunities and enables students to meet new people from different backgrounds and diverse communities.
This experience can be character building and go on to shape a person just as much as the degree itself. And university doesn’t only benefit individuals but also contributes enormously to our society. A well-educated and varied population helps drive innovation, strengthens our economy, and creates healthier, more engaged communities.
What Parents Can Do
So, as well as governments, schools and universities, parents also have an important role to play. We can influence the way our children see themselves and approach the possibilities ahead because confidence creates opportunities. We can praise effort and persistence rather than simply results. We can help our children see that success isn’t about being the best, but about continuing to learn and being curious. We can listen to them and celebrate their questions and show them that we see them. Because when children feel accepted and truly supported to believe in themselves, their confidence grows.
Hope Creates Possibility
Really, this conversation is about the importance of hope. Everyone has their own experiences, perspectives and skills, and together, our differences enrich and strengthen our universities, workplaces and communities. When children from a range of backgrounds are encouraged to hope and aspire, they get the opportunity to fulfil their potential. They don’t just transform their own lives; they contribute fresh insights to the professions and communities they go on to serve. That diversity of experience benefits us all.
Confidence Begins at Home
The confidence to believe in ourselves begins early. It starts with the people who encourage us to stay curious and keep trying. When we support our children and raise their aspirations, we enable them to have choices. Because hope begins at home and every child deserves to dream big.
Written by Corinna Gough