To preface this article with sincerity to anyone reading, I should I state I do not have, or feel the need to have children. So why do I write it? For my mother, for parents who want to send their child off into the world with the foundation of a safe, happy childhood. Who else should take over our world as adults, but ones who can empathise and care, like their parents did for them.
With Christmas coming up it’s normal to feel anxious, it’s one of the most financially distressing times of the year. Yes, the festive lights, decorations and food are fun, but for a parent there’s a lot to do. According to West for the London Mutual credit Union the average household spending on Christmas has hit £660-£1,150. A figure we couldn’t even dream of having in our banks right now, and if we did it certainly wouldn’t be for a one-day holiday. Store credit, loans, credit cards, that’s what seem to make the holidays go round these days, your children need to have the best, or as close as possible. Their excitement and smiles on Christmas are worth everything to a loving parent, but at what cost? Is it worth worrying you can’t afford prescriptions, or liquidising house assets, having creditors breathing down your neck, I don’t think so.
Then how can we make Christmas “perfect” for our children, well, before letting capitalist marketing tell you that it’s the new latest toy, let’s first take a look at child’s psychology. Who better to ask than a child. The Huffington Post sat down with Nora Newcombe Ph.D, a professor of Child Psychology at Temple University, to learn about how a child’s memory works, after all, memories are how we guide our future. Newcombe states that the memory of a child is “unpredictable”, but by the time they’re 6 or 7 their memory function is nearly at the level of an adult. Interestingly Newcombe shares a dissimilitude between types of memory, namely explicit and implicit. With explicit being what you can report verbally and implicit, more of a feeling that you can’t quite articulate yet.
To me, this draws us away from the classic capitalistic marketing of needing a mountain of gifts, and a gaming device with the best specs. To me, that implicit feeling of home, warm lights, smiling faces, and quality time screams memories. As someone who grew up in a council house, with divorced parents and a mother working full time, I remember decorating the tree, Christmas music, yes, of course the gifts, but the nostalgic feeling that things aren’t all bad. The later knowledge that my mother had struggled all year after Christmas, and gone into debt for me only tainted these memories, your child’s happiness is important to you, but as they grow up, your happiness becomes important to them too. As Newcombe states, “if feeling about an experience are strong, that can dictate whether or not the memory gets retained or lost”.
So, we’ve discussed the importance of meaning, but if you have the privilege of being able to buy or make your children gifts, which are the best? In South Korea a study on 163 children aged 3 to 5 were studied at a daycare, on what brings a child happiness. The most highly regarded were living things and inanimate playthings, percentage wise 31.9% stated playthings, and 12.3% declared human. The underlying theme that was expressed by the children was the desire to play, they felt “fun or good when they play”. The objects themselves provided emotional, practical, esthetic, creative and moral satisfaction according to Hong et al. By creating a home environment where these opportunities exist, you’re allowing that satisfaction to be nurtured throughout their time with you, and not just on Christmas.
I’m hoping that the research shown, and thoughts expressed have eased some of that Christmas anxiety, the most important thing to a child is you. Before getting caught up in what other parents can spend or do, remember that before money made the world go round, we did.
Written by Georgia Leigh